I am raw and wide open today. Anyone else like that? I have stepped over the threshold and I will not turn back.
What does that mean – where I have placed a period [.], I am now committed to “being continued”. Whatever is comfortable, I am now willing to shake up and shake loose, and I am working hard on turning anxiety into excitement. With those changes comes emotions. I am filled with expectation of what is possible.
I have no clue how I am going to be moving forward, but I am going to trust God – and this is how it is going to look:
Praying, reading and committing to God’s word with intimacy – I want scripture to be real; That my friends is the logical, methodical me. However, the rest of my facets, are going to be white knuckling, walking the floor, being quite, releasing tears, staring into space, fighting the elevator music that the enemy slips in, talking aloud and screaming, begging God, pain from growth, remembering I am not running anything, trying to quit, placing and the removing the periods. You get the picture (smile).
And guess what, I am still filled with expectation of what is possible.
Today, I will begin to add this to my daily pray and unbelief: Lord, help me in my unbelief! I know that you are here and you lead me and guide me.
What will you do today?